I’m not one of those adults who looks back on her childhood and whines. “Wah wah wah….you didn’t do XYZ for me.” That’s not me. But the truth is, my parents didn’t do such a great job in teaching us about money, what it is and how to manage it. That’s a cycle I hope to break with my own kids. I’m sorry if this hurts my dad’s or my brother’s feelings (they both read my blog occasionally) but both are not that great with money.
As a teen or tween, I distinctly remember my dad and stepmother having conversations about money, and if I commented or asked a question I was told “This is a private/adult matter.” Now that just makes me do a big eyeroll (which I probably also did as a teen) followed by an even bigger WTF??
Why is it, we don’t talk to kids about money…….because it’s a “private/adult matter”…… then all of a sudden, we shove them out the door at 18 or 22 and expect them to know how to do it? Really??? Does that make sense to anyone?
In my parents’ defense, our family was not alone. LOTS of families do not include children in financial conversations. Get a grip people, this is part of being a parent. And if it makes you uncomfortable, too bad. Just like sex, violence, bullying, drugs and all the other tough conversations, we have to talk to them about money. Their lives depend on it. One of the financial people I love to read and follow is Suze Orman. I’ve even gone to see her speak live at QVC, yes, I’m that much of a nerd. Other people go to rock concerts, I go to hear Suze Orman speak. But she has done many essays, writings and even a few books on teaching your kids about money. They need to know. Of course you take it down to their age level, but they need to know.
What is an expensive car? Is it $5000 or $50,000? Is $100 a month a decent electric bill? Because I know a family paying almost $800. Is that too much, or to be expected? How will their kids know the difference? What is a reasonable monthly grocery bill?
It’s ok to be truthful. It’s ok to say “We don’t have that in the budget right now.” Kids need to know that life is a budget, and if you don’t have the money, you don’t get it! I’m not saying that you lay it all out there–your salary, your investments, for the kids to blab on the playground. But money CANNOT any longer be a taboo subject in families. Do you tell your kids how an ATM works? Do they think that money just magically comes out of it? We live in an age where credit and debit cards reign king, but kids need to know how they work. They need to know where that money comes from–your hard work! Did your child get a gift card this past week? Sure, let them splurge. But use it as a teachable moment–you won’t regret it.
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